


Sacrificing

by Angelology



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: GTA AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 17:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3217634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelology/pseuds/Angelology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt by anonymous: (Inspired by ray's death in jack's heist) ahot6 where Ray sacrifices tons of stuff for his boys (like alone time, sleep, comfort, preferences on food/dates/tv channel, etc) and none of them really notice until something big happens (maybe he somehow tries to sacrifice his life/safety to save the others or something) and they have to confront him about the issue (bonus pts if it stems from Ray not valuing his life very much)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrificing

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Jos for helping me with editing this <3  
> Apparently AO3 has decided to place random spaces in the middle of words, please excuse any you might see ~

 “Hey, Ray?”

  
Ray tilts his head slightly to the left to show he’s listening to Jack, who is now leaning on the back of the couch that Ray has sprawled himself over while playing his new game - so, so close to the achievement he has been working on for the past hour.  
  
“Mhm?” he asks, breaking eye contact with the television for only a second as he quickly glances up at Jack.  
  
When Jack takes a moment too long to respond, Ray pauses his game and focuses all of his attention on the man above him.  
  
“Sup?” Ray prods, and Jack seems to reach a conclusion with whatever he’s mulling over.  
  
“Just wondering how much longer you got until that achievement?” Jack asks, obviously avoiding outright asking for whatever it is he wants .  
  
Ray’s eyes quickly drop to the screen and he considers it. He’s been slowly, slowly progressing through the game - it was a fucker, this one, no checkpoints to help and everytime he died he’d respawn right at the beginning of the level. He was close, now, just had about five more to kill in the next room and then another fifteen in the next - and he would only need another ten minutes maximum, if he went without dying.  
  
“Ten minutes?” Ray replies - moreso with a question, hoping the ten minutes is allowed.  
  
Jack just nods and goes to sit beside Ray, somehow sitting down without Ray actually having to move his limbs to make room, and he unpauses the game and works through the level. His health gets low, but he’s so fucking close now, he can sense that damn achievement on his tongue.  
  
Then Michael hollers from down the hallway, approaching the room and Ray almost curses because it distracts him enough to forget that there’s an asshole hiding behind the wall when he walks into the room - but he saves himself quickly, focusing his attention back on the game.  
  
Michael walks in with Geoff behind him, and Ray is so, so fucking close.  
  
“Yo, Ray, our show is about to start,” Michael says, and that’s when Ray realises he’s not going to finish the achievement - not now, not when they need the television. It doesn’t matter how close he is, now, because he’s not going to be able to finish it anyway.  
  
Ray nods, and with a defeated, small sigh he goes to the menu of the game - one desperate last attempt to check that there isn’t some sort of checkpoint he can come back to later, but there isn’t - and quits the game.  
  
They all thank him, which Ray figures is enough to excuse the fact that he had been so, so close and he really only needed another couple of minutes. He’s not angry, not at all, after all what’s his one achievement to their one episode?  
  
He brushes it off easily enough, figures he knows the level he’s been working on well enough by now to pass it with ease next time he plays it. When he walks out, possibly to go bug Ryan and Gavin because the two were probably banging somewhere, he misses the confused look that Jack shoots him.

* * *

 

  
Ray’s lost track of whose limbs are whose.  
  
He had been sitting there, playing his game after finally finishing that damn achievement and began to just screw around a bit, when suddenly Gavin sort of threw himself across him.  
  
Gavin was a cuddly bastard when he wanted to be - but he was also just an absolute bastard, and an annoying one at that. When he got into the moods to be a dick, most of them usually stuck well away and left Geoff to deal with it.  
  
Ray hadn’t caught on in time and was now stuck with Gavin squirming on top of him, trying to purposely get in Ray’s view that he had of the TV.  
  
“Go bug Michael,” Ray suggests, and Gavin stops in his squirming when he realises that Ray isn’t all that bothered.

Which, he wasn’t, because Gavin was light as fuck and he was able to move his head easily enough to get a view of the TV. Also, he wasn’t doing anything actually useful on the game anyway.  
  
“My boi!” Gavin suddenly cheers and Ray huffs when he sees Michael walk into the room.  
  
Michael glances up from his phone at Gavin’s cheer, and he suddenly gets a very mischevious look on his face that makes Ray regret ever mentioning Michael’s name - because he knows exactly what is about to happen.  
  
“Team leads!” Michael yells and then throws himself onto Gavin, sprawling as much of himself as he can over Gavin. Which ends up pinning down Ray, his controller lost somewhere under Gavin’s stomach.  
  
He groans when Gavin - or Michael, Ray’s not too sure at this point - manages to drive his elbow down into Ray’s leg. The others don’t notice, though, and Michael’s snickering like a fucking lunatic and Gavin’s sort of just silently laughing.  
  
Then, because Gavin isn’t the only asshole in the apartment, Geoff sees the impromptu ‘stacks-on’ pile and joins in. He’s somewhat more considerate than Michael, but it’s still enough to make Ray wonder if he will eventually be forced to become one with the couch.  
  
He’s finding it a little hard to breathe and there’s about two other uncomfortable spots that are being pinned down without mercy when Jack joins. Ryan sort of just stands to the side and shakes his head, but eventually Michael is able to grab his hand and throw him on top.  
  
Everyone is squirming on top of him and he’s pretty sure the couch might break - right after his controller, if that hasn’t somehow already - and then wonders if it’s possible if maybe his spine might just snap in two.  
  
Eventually, after Michael manages to shove most of them off, his lungs don’t feel like they might concave and his spine seems relatively alright.  
  
However, the Team Lads pile remains, with Ray at the bottom. Ray just sighs and doesn’t say a word about it, instead shifting slightly so his controller was free and passes it to Ryan, who pauses the game for him.  
  
“You alright down there, Ray?” Jack asks, once Gavin and Michael seemed to settle on top of him.  
  
Ray just shrugs as best he can and smiles. It’s uncomfortable as fuck, and he can’t feel his right arm or either of his legs, but he figures it’s at least better than all five on top of him.  
  
Besides, if Gavin and Michael find it comfortable somehow, then he couldn’t really argue with his discomfort.

 

* * *

 

They’re back from a heist at 2am, and they carry in their bags of money and guns with exhaustion.  
  
It wasn’t meant to go so late, except the damn cops came in because of an early tip off - and Geoff would have a long day tomorrow, calling up all their contacts and trying to comb for a leak - and it managed to mess up their first three escape routes.  
  
Luckily, Geoff wasn’t as reckless as he let on - when it came to the bigger heists, he took caution with making sure that they had every possible route covered and made sure no one would get into too much trouble if it came down to it. He had a fourth, and even a fifth, plan for backup.  
  
Ray was safe up top, on the rooftop across from the bank they raided -it was a traditional heist, one Geoff would throw in occasionally when they had to keep up appearances, nothing too difficult but it still produced decent results, and Ray’s job was to stay up high and keep an eye out and take potshots if any trouble arose.  
  
Geoff, Ryan and Gavin, the three sent inside to get the goods while Michael and Jack stood by for transport, were almost caught. The cops had them trapped in the store, ordering them to do the usual shit like throw their hands up and surrender.  
  
Michael’s car had been trapped down as well, his car hidden well enough so that he wasn’t seen - but if the others made a move to him, or Michael to them, he would immediately be compromised. Jack was too far, and would end up in the same position as Michael if he drove up.  
  
“Fuck, Gavin get the fuck down,” Geoff was shouting, and Ray quickly moved the scope to inside to see Gavin quickly dive back behind cover as the cops unleashed their firearms. It seemed they knew who they were dealing with - usually, they at least got a few good minutes before the cops decided _fuck it,_ and began to shoot.  
  
This time, they had moments. Ray trusted Geoff, knew he had a plan, knew that he’d get them safe out of the store.  
  
Except - except one cop shot way too fucking close to Ryan, who had to move to the other side of the store to get some better cover. It was a lucky shot - Ryan hadn’t been as quick because of the bag on his back that contained their fuckload of goodies, and Ray knew that they were somewhat unprepared for the cops to show up so early.  
  
After all, it had been months since someone had managed to work their way into the contacts of the crew and poison them from the inside. Except, since it was such a routine heist, they didn’t really expect anyone to be as stupid to blow the fact they were hiding _like a fucking leech_ when there was plenty of other better heists coming up.  
  
Still, it made Ray’s heart pound when he heard how Ryan muttered a swear under his breath and Geoff lose his cool for a moment, yelling something that Ray missed because of the sudden pounding in his ears.  
  
He knew Geoff had it under a control - it was just a moment, just a moment _and they had it under control, don’t you fucking compromise your position.  
  
Ah, fuck it. Come get me, assholes.  
  
_ He could’ve sniped the guys near the back, where no one would’ve noticed until too late, but his aim changed and he fired off at one of the guys near the front lines.  
  
That definitely got their attention. No one from inside had been able to fire a shot, after all, and so the shot was definitely made from someone else - which, unfortunately, the cops managed to figure out pretty fast.  
  
Ray moved quickly. He was able to take down another three before the shots began firing up at his position on the roof. He cursed, ducking behind the small wall the roof provided as the shots flew above him.  
  
“Ray, what the fuck!” Michael yelled and Ray winced, because _yeah, okay maybe there was a plan here and he absolutely should’ve followed it.  
  
Then again, if Gavin couldn’t stick to it every fucking time they went out on a heist, why should he?  
  
_ “Uh, sudden change of plan to Plan 15?” he mumbled, cursing as he went to move back to the sniper and narrowly avoided a bullet.  
  
“Ray, there is no fucking Plan 15!” Geoff yelled back, a bit out of breath and Ray shrugged into the thin air.  
  
“Yeah there is, I just made it up then,” he replied, and was rewarded with pretty much all of the other guys calling him some very vulgar names. _  
  
_ Geoff began ordering commands again, falling back on their fifth plan. The three of them made their way out to Jack, except Ray knew, even without fucking seeing the current plan that they would be seen and there was always that one damn chance that some stupid cop would just get another lucky shot.  
  
He took a deep breath before getting back behind his scope and taking another successful snipe, and the attention was back again on him.  
  
And then he heard the fucking helicopter.  
  
Which, y’know, was nothing new and nothing he hadn’t deal with one hundred times before except he would rather _not_ be on the roof while the cops were still firing.  
  
He got back behind the wall again and his eyes flickered over to the duffel bag next to him. Usually, he saved the rocket launcher for the bigger heists, but, well, he decided to add it to his current plan, which he changed the name from 15 to ‘ _Gavin_ .’  
  
“Someone cover me,” he said, the only warning he gave before quickly opening the duffel and pulling out the bright pink rocket launcher.  
  
He crouched, aiming as well as he could but the fucking thing was too well covered by the building it was currently hovering over, and if he hit the side of the wall of the building and it crumbled then there was a chance it could block off the guys.  
  
“Here goes nothing,” he muttered to himself before standing upright, aiming the shot as well as he could in the little time he had and ducking back down immediately as soon as he fired the rocket.  
  
A bullet whizzed by him, missing him by less than an inch. It couldn’t keep the smile from his face when he realised that the rocket had hit its mark, and the explosion was so loud that he could hear nothing for a few moments except for an annoying and persistent ring.  
  
It took him a few moments to realise they were all yelling over the comms. For him and at him, and he swore to let them know he was alive and relatively okay.  
  
“Ray, Ray what the fuck-”  
  
“What the fuck was that!”  
  
“You gave away your fucking position-”  
  
“They could’ve fucking shot you-”  
  
“You bastard, you were nearly bloody shot, what the hell were you-”  
  
It became a mess of words and he sighed with relief when he heard all of them; they were okay, and now yelling at him to get off the damn roof because Michael was below, waiting for his ‘stupid ass’.  
  
He got off the roof carefully, making sure he wasn’t shot while he climbed down the ladder at the back. The police had been thrown off for a few moments by an improvised explosion and it allowed him to swiftly climb in the passenger seat of Jack’s car.  
  
They switched off their comms, all too aware that the police were probably working on hijacking their frequencies. It was a few minutes into the drive, safely escaping the cops and strolling behind Michael’s own getaway vehicle when Jack whirled on him.  
  
“What the fuck, you gave us a heart-attack you bastard,” Jack reprimanded, and Ray slunk a little down into his seat.  
  
“It was a Gavin inspired plan,” Ray admitted, and Jack sighed heavily.  
  
“Ray, it wasn’t a fucking Gavin plan because while he can be absolutely reckless and stupid, I’m pretty sure not even Gavin’s suicidal.”  
  
Ray let it sink in for a few moments. He did have to give Jack that one - Gavin had a sort of method to his madness, not unlike Ryan. He was reckless, but he kept it contained when it began to become a danger. He didn’t just break the plan when he felt like it.  
  
“You were in trouble,” Ray mumbled, feeling quite like a child being scolded.  
  
“So were you, you asshole,” Jack shot back, but there was less heat behind the words.  
  
_That doesn’t matter, though,_ Ray thought to himself. _As long as you idiots are safe, that’s all that matters to me.  
  
_ It was silent after that - the only disturbance coming from a cop car that had managed to get onto their trail. Between the two vehicles it took almost half an hour to shake the fucking squad that had been acquired, but eventually they got back to their safehouse.  
  
By 2:40am, they’ve all taken a shower. They’re all exhausted - the crash after the big adrenaline rush that the heists give them - and all of them go to sleep on the bed except for Ryan. _  
_  
Ray glances at the hallway down to the bedroom, and his muscles are begging him to go to the wonderful warmth of all the others - but he knows, he knows he won’t sleep without Ryan there too.  
  
He lets out a little sigh, knowing sleep won’t be coming to him at any point soon. He follows Ryan to the couch, where the man is already booting up his laptop and the screen hurts Ray’s eyes for a second, but that doesn’t stop him from sliding up next to Ryan.  
  
It’s kind of unspoken, really, that Ryan does actually appreciate someone hanging around during his sleepless nights. He won’t say it outright, but he’ll make them coffee or something in the morning, maybe even give up his couch spot in the afternoon or let them use him as their seat, maybe even go on an afternoon spree killing spree and bringing back a souvenir for them.  
  
Little things like that.  
  
Ryan moves him arm to sling around Ray, who leans his head on Ryan’s shoulder and watches as Ryan scrolls pointlessly through some social network sites. Their heist has already made headlines - with the cops making empty promises of being able to catch them and bring them to justice.  
  
It amuses Ray as to why they think they can do that when they haven’t been able to the past one hundred heists or so.  
  
“You know, that was pretty reckless,” Ryan mumbles eventually, after maybe an hour of sitting in silence.  
  
“Yeah, but it absolutely made you want to do you-know-what-with-me,” Ray jibes back, and Ryan just smirks.  
  
“You-know-what-with-you?” Ryan mimics, and Ray shrugs.  
  
"Yeah, y’know, the sex thing. But like, the gay sex thing, where you inse-” He’s cut off by Ryan who laughs and ducks his head to quickly kiss Ray.  
  
“Don’t do it again,” Ryan orders him - but it’s an empty warning and they both know it.

* * *

  
  
It’s barely a week later, after the heist - and when they don’t have a heist, they’ll have date night.  
  
They don’t have it often; usually it’s too hard between Geoff running his empire with Jack by his side, Gavin jumping back and forth countries while he dealt with foreign issues and Ryan doing his own independent jobs here and there as he hired himself out to other crews with some sort of goal that catches his attention - sometimes Ray joins him, or even Michael if it involves blowing lots of things up.  
  
It’s Ray’s turn, and he knows this because somehow, somewhere along their usual disorganised and chaotic behaviour, they’ve somehow managed to get a functioning system on whose turn it is to choose for date night.  
  
He keeps track, and so does Jack, so no one can argue for their turn when Jack walks into the lounge room one afternoon and asks Ray what he wants to do for the night.  
  
Usually he’d ask in the morning, except he’s been out all day with Michael dealing with an ammunitions deal and it’s honestly a miracle within itself that somehow they’re all in the living room together at the same time.  
  
Ray’s playing a game of Mario Kart with Gavin and Michael, and the question makes him freeze for a moment - and a moment is all Michael needs to throw the red shell at him, because he fucking let go of the bananas hanging on the back of his cart that were protecting him.  
  
“Waluigi you fuck,” Ray says bitterly, glaring at Michael who is smiling like he just managed to snatch a very expensive ring off some rich big-wig - and he should know, he was there when Michael did so at some undercover mission in some big fancy mansion party. And Gavin is - well, being Gavin.  
  
“Ray?” Jack prods, and Ray curses at himself because he knows they only have a certain window - Gavin leaves again in the morning, and they had to plan whatever they were going to do now.  
  
Honestly, the idea of just staying inside and ordering pizza and playing games sounds absolutely fucking amazing to him. If the others get smashed, it also means he and Ryan won’t have to carry their sorry asses outside - except, because Gavin was leaving in the morning he would most likely rope Ryan into drinking anyway, which leaves just Ray to haul their asses out of whatever bar in the early morning.  
  
And that was naturally only after Michael manages to pick a fight with a guy who is absolutely so much fucking bigger than him and then almost goes to blow the whole damn bar up, and then only after Gavin manages to piss of some other guy who actually turns out to be part of some other big crew.  
  
When Ray was extremely unlucky - which, honestly, was every fucking time he stepped outside the apartment - Geoff would manage to piss off the cops on top of everything while they had minimal firearms on them.  
  
After the first couple of times of that, Ray learnt to just bring the duffel bag full of weapons wherever he went.  
  
He’s about to voice his idea of just having a somewhat relaxing night, except suddenly he’s got a lapful of Gavin who is grinning at him with a very stupidly enticing smile and Ray knows he’s absolutely fucked. Michael knows too, judging by the snickers he’s making next to him.  
  
“ _Ray_ ,” Gavin starts, his voice dropping slightly and he’s leaning in, in the way he does when he only fucking wants something and it works pretty much almost every fucking time.  
  
“Gavin,” Ray answers back as seriously as he can, trying to act oblivious. Michael’s snickers from beside him are not helping in the slightest.  
  
“ _Ray,_ don’t you think we should take a look down at that new bar they opened up?” Gavin asks, and Ray knows he’s so fucked, he knows that’s now the plan for the night. Goodbye dreams of no bar fights and no cop shootouts.  
  
“I don’t drink,” Ray pointedly reminds him, and Gavin just smirks.  
  
“It’ll be top,” Gavin reassures, and Ray knows it won’t be - knows he’ll end up the one dragging all their asses out of bars when they’ve only just managed to defeat their bar-fight-buddy and knows he’ll be the one tossing the weapons in his duffel to them in regret (and despite how intoxicated they are, at least they’re always deadshots.)  
  
“Let me tell you what’ll be top right now,” Ray answers, because he needs at least one thing out of tonight if he can help it - and hopefully when Gavin’s not completely smashed.  
  
“Yeah?” Gavin prods, like the oblivious asshole he is.  
  
“Ray’s talking about himself, idiot,” Michael says for Ray, and it takes Gavin a moment before the smirk is back on his face.  
  
The suggestion, however, wasn’t exactly for him. It was for Jack and Ryan, who seemed to be sending him sideway glances ever since the heist. He knew what it was about - his self-sacrificing habits, most likely, but the move seems like the right thing to do because soon enough, they’re off his back and the sideway glances seem to stop.  
  
The next morning, when Gavin wakes up with the worst hangover and begins to wonder why the hell he’d ever book a flight so early in the morning, Ray already has his painkillers set out. The smile Gavin gives him is enough to make it up for Ray.

* * *

  
  
Gavin gets back a few days later, quite late in the evening and Ryan returns too, the same day after joining a small crew for a couple of days who needed his help with raiding some rather amateur drug supply - and more people just means more banging buddies, as Michael tells him.  
  
Except it gets heated, because apparently Ryan forgot to tell anyone that he was leaving except Gavin - who wasn’t able to let them know thanks to his stupidly long flight and just all-around shitty memory. And Ryan couldn’t let them know because apparently one thing or another went wrong and _whoops_ his phone got smashed and he wasn’t able to grab a new one. It messed with some plan Geoff had for Ryan, and now he’s had to rearrange all of them in the crew last minute for some trades they have going.  
  
Two days, Ryan was arguing, wasn’t even that bad compared to Gavin’s whole week. Except, at least, Gavin was able to update them with tabs apparently unlike Ryan who just sneaks off and doesn’t even tell their leader - which is Geoff’s argument.  
  
Then somehow Jack is dragged in, and Ray watches Michael get sucked in and decide that he’s getting out before he’s dragged in as well. He grabs his DS and the charger from their place in the more open area near the lounge room and sets off to the spare bedroom.  
  
There was too big of a chance someone would end up in the main bedroom - maybe after storming off and leaving the argument, or maybe just some hateful or make-up banging which honestly Ray was not up for.  
  
He already had a setup going in the spare bedroom - usually used for Lindsay or Caleb or anyone else that needed to pop in for a few days and lay low or whatever. They had a couple of spare rooms, but Ray chose the smaller one because for some stupid reason it was almost a comfort - the bigger the room, the more people could fit in and he wasn’t bothered for people right now.  
  
The DS lights up along with its little chime and he grabs his earphones in his pockets, jamming them into the plug and grabbing the tortilla chips he has stashed in the bottom drawer of the side bed table.  
  
He’s alone for almost thirty minutes - which, admittedly, is not his best time. He had zoned out too much and hadn’t heard the footprints until it was too late to sneak out of the window, which was a common tactic for him if he was truly desperate to escape human interaction.  
  
He wasn’t up for it, wasn’t up for talking or generally being around anyone. His social battery, as Gavin sometimes dubbed it, had completely depleted, and he just needed to recharge.  
  
Except his charger is pulled when someone opened the door, not all that carefully, and they seem shocked to see Ray sitting on the floor with his DS. Ray’s just as shocked, almost throwing the DS in surprise but manages to reign it in and is proud of the fact that he almost manages a completely bored and unsurprised look by the time Michael settles his gaze back on Ray after quickly sweeping the room.  
  
“Uh, is it okay if I just-” Michael trails off, standing awkwardly at the door and Ray realises he really didn’t expect Ray to be in the room.  
  
There’s no way Ray can say no. He lets him in and Michael settles down beside him after closing the door, and it’s silent for almost a good ten seconds and Ray thinks _oh man this silence could actually work, just sit there and don’t say anything and we’re good.  
  
_ And then Michael talks and Ray can feel his battery sort of flash it’s warning of needing to recharge.  
  
Michael’s still pretty livid, obviously has a lot of pent up anger from the fight and due to not being able to blow up the apartment - or anything else close enough that wouldn’t draw attention to the cops - it was still all trapped inside, simmering under his skin.  
  
He rants on for a bit - throws out words that he doesn’t mean about the others, and then threatens to blow up pretty much the whole country. Ray throws in his two cents by joking that he could start by blowing just him, which calms Michael down a bit.  
  
Still, the battery is flashing its warning but Ray knows it’s no use - his time alone is used up and he may as well try with Michael, because usually if one calmed down another was to follow.

It’s a slow process and it absolutely drains Ray. He’s glad he can help Michael, he really is because now at least one of them will be walking to dinner with a clearer head - but he’s not looking forward to dinner because there’s all of his personal space out the damn window.

He pushes his irritation aside, though - his irritation is nothing in the scheme of things, really, and he really is glad that Michael has calmed down. He puts down the DS as Michael begins to trail off into his default of conversation, which is the inner workings of the bombs and why exactly they go ‘boom.’

His alone time, after all, is a small price to pay for Michael’s happiness. He knows he’d give it up - he’d give all of it up, really - to make them happy, even if they do manage to drive him insane some days.  
  
When they eventually meet for dinner, the environment has improved. Michael walks in calmly, while Gavin walks in with even more ruffled hair and a limp and Ryan follows him in smugly. Ray kind of has to roll his eyes at that one - but then Geoff and Jack walk in, in no better state than Gavin, and Ray sighs a little.

 

* * *

 

An explosion rings out and it makes the perch he’s crouching on shake, forcing him to adjust his stance in an attempt to keep his balance.  
  
He curses, chorused by the other five when they realise it at the same time.  
  
The crew they’re going up against have been expecting them.  
  
Ray’s getting sick of the trend of people ruining their surprise show-up. Geoff seems sick of it, too, if the swearing on his end of the comm is any indication. Ray almost feels bad for whoever has been ratting them out, and then remembers that the asshole had possibly endangered the others and his attitude changes from sympathy to ‘you deserve every broken bone you get, motherfucker.’  
  
The explosion had thankfully been a bit late - Ray’s already at his post on the second floor of the warehouse. It’s a narrow sort of catwalk all around, and Ryan’s with him, having escorted him up to make sure he was covered.

Gavin and Geoff are working on destroying the crew’s ammunition and apparent drug supply, making it to the second stash before the explosion at the entryway goes off.  
  
It’s big, and it would’ve taken them all out if they had walked through the front door. They hadn’t - they’d walked through the back, quite easily. They had planned it so that their raid would conflict with the time that the crew were supposedly going out and trying to claim more of Geoff’s territory.  
  
They had taken out the only guards in sight , and although they had kept up their caution they were still surprised when about twenty guys strolled in from the explosion once the smoke cleared.  
  
Ryan is close to him, and Ray ushers him to go downstairs. Michael and Jack are on transport, and Geoff’s already called Michael in for backup to cover Ray. Except Ray’s pretty safe up top - the crew hadn’t thought they’d make it up, apparently, and Ray deems them absolutely not the smartest crew they had gone up against. Probably like, bottom five.  
  
Geoff and Gavin are in the firing zone. They’re able to get cover behind the crates, but then another explosion rings out - way too fucking close - from a grenade launcher fired from the opposing crew.

Ryan fires back, his semi-automatic taking out three guys before he’s forced to duck behind another crate.  
  
From there, it’s pretty much fucking grenade armageddon.  
  
Ray knows a fair bit about this crew - reckless, possibly even more so than themselves, and could rival Michael with their love for blowing shit up. But he didn’t expect their numbers to be so big , and definitely underestimated the amount of fucking grenade launchers they have.  
  
“Get the fuck out of there,” Ray warns them - because they were moving to block the exit now and their chances of escape would dwindle to almost nothing if they didn’t get out of the warehouse as soon as possible.  
  
“I’m pretty sure they don’t give a shit about blowing their own shit up,” Ryan says, backing him up without explicitly telling them so. “It was a set up, just something used to trap us.”  
  
There’s a heavy amount of annoyance in Ryan’s tone and Ray can relate. It absolutely fucking sucks to be drawn in by some amateur group. They usually save themselves from confrontations like this, by looking more into the crew they’re going up against, but they hadn’t had the time between the amount of jobs they had simply a lot of steam to blow off.  
  
Apparently, so did these guys with the grenade launchers. One clicks empty and while he goes to reload Ray shoots him down. The others are protected by body armour - bullets only winding them slightly.  
  
Geoff sighs before ordering them to fall back and meet with Jack. The crew isn’t worth it - if they blow up all their own stuff, then they won’t be an issue on Geoff’s territory for too long anyway. He can get Kdin, Matt and Jeremy to deal with it later.  
  
Except that if Ray makes a move to walk down then he won’t be able to provide cover, and the other crew could possibly see him and attempt to block him at the stairs. Which are, just his luck, right in sight of the exit - if they move any closer, they’ll be able to see the others moving to Jack.

Ray takes down another couple of guys, who then begin to realise where he is. They begin to fire the grenades up and Ray swears, able to throw back one grenade that lands way too close to him, but having to duck to cover as well as he can. 

He peeks his head up, taking down another couple and narrowing the numbers down to at least ten guys.  
  
“Ray, get the fuck down here!” Someone is yelling into his ear - and nope, right, that’s just the comm.  
  
“Are you out?” Ray asks quickly, taking the risk at peering through his scope and was able to take down another guy. _Nine to go_.  
  
“I- Gavin isn’t,” Michael admits, “I’m about to head back in for him. He’d be near the exit, I didn’t realise he wasn’t there until a few paces outside. His comm was fucked from an explosion.”  
  
“ _Fuck_ ,” Ray mutters, and then increases his voice. “Michael, stay out and wait for us. I’ll go down for him.”  
  
“It’s too dangerous, Ray,” Geoff warns, “ There’re guys swarming everywhere. You get out now. Gavin’s an idiot, but you know that he has probably gotten himself out by now.”  
  
But there’s a chance - there’s just a _chance_ that maybe Gavin hasn’t gotten out and Ray has to go down and check, just in case.  
  
He slings the duffel over his shoulder after arming himself with a semi-automatic rifle. His sniper wouldn’t do much in close range, and the rocket launcher is too big of a risk inside a warehouse that had crates possibly filled with explosives.  
  
Getting down the stairs is easy enough - he doesn’t run into any incidents, thankfully, but he’s spotted as soon as he takes a step across the floor in an attempt to go for cover. He’s able to dive to cover in time before the first shots ring out.  
  
He returns fire, another couple of men falling and he swears loudly as a grenade lands too close. He moves quickly, backing himself closer to the exit and hiding behind a crate.  
  
The crate is labelled as explosives, and the fire suddenly stops when they realise the same thing. If Ray’s right, the amount of explosives in there will be enough to blow up the whole warehouse if a grenade detonates too close. It was a fucking miracle they’ve somehow managed to avoid the crate so far.  
  
“Ray, what’s happening?” Jack asks quietly, and Ray just lets out something close to a hum.  
  
“Well, I might get blown into Mars if these assholes decide to go down a suicide bomber path all of a sudden,” Ray replies quietly, hoping the crew he’s trying to fend off absolutely does not go down such a path.  
  
“Like, gay blown?” Michael snickers, which is a joke Ray lets himself appreciate for a moment and he lets himself take a breath. Gavin isn’t in sight - maybe the dickhead really did escape.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Ray answers, “Like huge seven way gangbang.” That’s the numbers left, at least, if Ray counted correctly - there’s seven men currently beginning to move to surround him.  
  
“Shut up, you two,” Geoff orders, but Ray knows he’s getting just as much amusement himself. “You found Gav?”  
  
“No,” Ray admits, taking another look around before moving behind another crate - this one thankfully not labelled as explosives.

Then he sees Gavin - who has made his way back to the front entrance, working to use Ray as a distraction to slip by them. Ray grins at him when Gavin catches his eye and Gavin returns a smile.

“Got him, he’s going out front,” Ray says, except his big fucking mouth says it too fucking loud and there’s a guy too close to him - and he hears it, and then he’s quietly ordering for his men to fall back and block the entrance.

“Fuck, _fuck,”_ Ray says to himself. Gavin won’t risk using a grenade launcher from a fallen enemy - not with Ray still in the warehouse, and it’s likely Gavin hasn’t even heard the command that the men are beginning to go back for him.

Just like the time on the rooftop - he loses all sense of logic. He has to move, now, has to do something right fucking now because it’s his fault that they know Gavin is about to slip by, and he has to fucking distract them.

His eyes glance to the explosives and he doesn’t have the chance to think his plan through.

“Gavin, get the fuck out of here!” he hollers, as loud as he possibly can, and he hears Gavin yell something back - but he can’t decipher it, the pounding in his ears drownsit out - and only when he hears the footsteps on the other side of the warehouse does he raise his rifle.

He doesn’t even take a breath, he just aims and fires at the explosive crate. It takes a few bullets, a few seconds with his finger pulling the trigger until the explosives seem to react.

He can only hope that Gavin manages to get out of range fast enough.

The explosion is fucking huge, and Ray is too fucking close - but so are the other fuckers, and he seems them go up before he’s turning and running, running as fast as he can to the exit but he’s not fast enough.

There’s the feeling of an intense heat washing over him, and he’s thrown through the air and he can’t even think - there’s not enough time, it all happens in less than a moment. 

He’s out before he even hits the ground.

* * *

 

When he wakes up, briefly, for the first time - he wonders if he’s actually been set on fire.

It feels like lava has replaced his blood and his chest kind of feels like someone used it as target practice for a rocket launcher.

His breath comes out wheezy and he goes into a coughing fit, each and every breath feeling like someone is scraping a burning scalpel through his insides. Someone has their hand on his cheek but they’re too hot, and they seem to realise as they withdraw their hand.

They’re saying something - he’s sure of it, but there’s just a ringing in his ears that’s drowning everything out and his eyes refuse to open. He’s conscious - barely, and decide it’s honestly not worth the effort when he’s in so much pain.

The second time he wakes up, it’s significantly better. More like someone just threw hot coals at him and then grilled him instead of being hit directly by a fireball.

There’s a hand on his chest, but it’s cool and Ray lets out a sigh as it feels like it spreads and quells the heat burning his insides.

“You idiot,” someone is mumbling, and Ray can’t quite make out who it is. He just focuses on the feeling of the coolness and hopes there’s more of wherever it’s coming from.

After a while, his eyelids eventually crack open. The light is almost blinding, almost makes him close his eyes and decide it’s still not worth the effort to be awake, but then there’s someone peeking into his vision with a very relieved smile.

It’s Michael, whose smile turns into a frown and he’s fiercely glaring at Ray.

“You are so fucking in for it,” Michael warns, and Ray wants to ask _isn’t being burned alive bad enough, give a guy a break._

And then he realises the reason he’s probably been almost burned alive is because he did something stupid - and yeah, the guys never appreciate it when someone does something almost stupidly deadly.

He can’t remember what happened - there’s a blank in his memory, the furthest he can remember is going down the stairs of the warehouse. He tries to trace his steps, he’s got glimpses - hiding behind a crate, the word ‘explosives’ flashing across his vision for a moment, and Gavin smiling at him.

His heart seems to stop for a moment.

“Wh-” His voice breaks off, his throat too sore and his voice sounds like he just scratched his vocal cords against shards of glass. 

Michael presses a cup to his lips and Ray’s able to swallow down the water which acts like an instant healing balm. He can’t swallow down much, though, and Michael takes the cup away before Ray has a chance to choke on it.

“Gav?” Ray’s able to ask, sounding somewhat human at least.

The person in question is suddenly invading his vision, shoving Michael out of the way and looking down at him worriedly.

“Ray, you’re a bloody donut,” Gavin scolds, and Ray knows Gavin probably won’t stop with the stupid naming insults for a while - none of them will, really.

Ray decides not to respond, just tries his best for a smile which is able to crack Gavin into returning a small, relieved one.

He’s not able to stay conscious long enough. However, during the short time that he is, he realises that he’s lying in the guest bedroom. Michael tells him Ryan’s out - which wasn’t unusual, with him, after any of them got severely injured he usually took a few hours blowing shit up to cool off. Geoff and Jack are wrapped up with having to deal with the mess of the aftermath of Ray deciding to blow apart a whole warehouse.

Ray knows that Michael has absolutely not grilled him enough - God no, Ray knew he was in for _hours_ of it. And that was only Michael - thinking of having to confront Geoff almost makes him want to physically wince.

When he’s finally able to stay conscious long enough and is able to speak well enough without breaking out into painful coughing fits after every sentence almost a week later, he’s finally forced to confront the others.

Ryan had popped in occasionally throughout the week, checking in on Ray and then disappearing for another few hours. According to Gavin, Ryan’s pretty much demolished any crews that even looked anywhere near Geoff’s territory, but he hasn’t actually been anywhere near Geoff or the others in the time that Ray’s been lying on the bed.

So for Ryan to be standing around with the other four when he wakes up after a nap is quite a shock. It takes him a few moments to realise he’s definitely not dreaming, and then another to realise he is absolutely in for it.

They’re looking at him with a mix of both relief and frustration. Then they look at each other, a silent conversation happening between them that Ray is excluded from.

The silence is broken by Geoff sighing a very long sigh.

Ray squirms a little, definitely more than uncomfortable with being the centre of attention in this particular scenario.

“So we’ve been talking,” Geoff eventually says. Immediately, Ray’s mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts.

 _That’s it, they’ve had enough of me. I’m out of the crew, I’m out of the relationship. I’m not worth it, not worth this oh fucki-  
  
_ “Shut up. Stop thinking,” Geoff orders, and Ray forces himself to calm down as much as he can. It doesn’t really work, though.

“And we all agree that you have some serious fucking issues,” Geoff continues, his fingers beginning to play with his mustache.

Ray kind of just pointedly looks at all of them. Geoff shrugs.

“Well, we all have issues - that’s what makes the Fake AH Crew up, right? Ryan’s got some serious fucking homicidal issues and some sort of weird fucking kink with cows -”

"Hey, hey, I do nothing sexual with th- ” Ryan defends himself, but is cut off by a glare from Geoff.  
  
“You, shut the fuck up. I’m doing a speech, don’t fucking butt in. Gavin’s just… He’s Gavin, for fuck’s sake, and has an issue with not being able to die when all fucking logic says he should. Michael likes blowing an excessive amount of shit up - Michael, don’t you fucking even think of making that joke that you’re about to say. And Jack clearly has some fucking issues if he’s decided to follow me into battle. Also, houses, Jack has a serious fucking issue with building safehouses.”    
  
There’s a pause, where everyone is just still and holding their breaths. Waiting for Geoff to continue because no one dares to interrupt.

“And _you_ have a fucking issue. Multiple fucking issues,” he says, directing it at Ray.

“For instance, blowing up a whole fucking warehouse and almost fucking turning yourself into ashes. That, I think, I’d count as you have an issue for extravagant exits,” Geoff says, and Ray just kind of raises an eyebrow.

He’s pretty sure that’s not it, but fuck it, it sounds better than whatever other reasoning he could provide.

“The thing is, though, is that you nearly fucking sacrificed yourself to cover Gavin’s own exit. Didn’t you think Gavin could’ve handled a few men? He wouldn’t have gotten very far in this crew if he couldn’t,” Geoff points out, his tone going from almost mock joking to harsh in a matter of seconds.

Ray doesn’t really know what to say in response, but that’s okay, because it seems like Geoff still has plenty to say.

“The incident on the rooftop was one thing, giving up your position like that - but this, you nearly fucking killed yourself, Ray,” Geoff goes on.

He goes on for a while, and admittedly Ray tunes him out for a bit. A lot, actually. He’s too tired and sore to deal with the whole ‘you-reckless-bastard-why-would-you-do-that-rah-rah’ talk.

When he tunes back in, Geoff is staring at him with deep thought.

“You know what your issue is?” Geoff finally says, and Ray shrugs in answer.

“You’re a fucking self-sacrificing hero kind of bastard. Everyone comes before you sort of teenage bullshit, because you don’t think you fucking matter. Am I right?” Geoff asks, daring Ray to argue with him. Of course he’s right - Ray can’t argue it.

They’re all the same, though, Ray thinks. They all know they’d sacrifice themselves for the others if it came down to it, but he knew they wouldn’t do it so recklessly and with so little regard to their own lives.

“You - fuck you,” Michael finally is able to break the silence that has descended on them. “You don’t get to fucking do that to us, Ray.”

Ray sort of stares at him. “Do what?”

“Think you’re fucking not important - think we’re worth so much more than you and all that fucking jazz. Holy shit, it’s so fucking obvious _and we didn’t fucking notice,”_ Michael continues, almost talking to himself.

“Ray’s a sly bastard,” Jack argues. “He made sure we didn’t notice.”

“Not as sly as I would like, then,” Ray mumbles, because what is he meant to say? Whatever he’d say, they’d fight back and argue with him to their last breath.

He’s tired and sore and he doesn’t have the energy to fight them right now with this. It’s fact - pure and simple, that their lives are worth so much more than his.  

Ryan grumbles something under his breath, and then steps up from where he’s been leaning against the wall. His jacket still has some blood on it - must’ve come straight from a spree, then.

“Don’t you think that maybe being with us, even, makes your life important? There’s thousands of other things that make you important, but I know nothing else will sway you. Don’t you fucking realise how important you are to us?” Ryan says, and his tone is hard and cold - a tone he only uses when he’s truly pissed off.

Ray realises with a heavy stomach that Ryan’s pissed off at _him._

The others seem to jump on Ryan’s bandwagon and all begin to speak at once. Somehow, all of them are heard by Ray.

“What the fuck do you think would happen if we lost you - ”

“What do you think we’d do if you actually fucking died in that fire - ”

“You’re as important to _this_ as any of us - ”

“We need you, you fucking asshole - ”

“We love you, for fuck’s sake, that’s gotta mean _something_ to you.”

They all jumble together, and Ray isn’t sure whose words belong to who. It doesn’t matter though, because he thinks he may just understand where they’re coming from.

“I’m sorry,” is all he says, and it seems to slice through their words and silence them.

He can’t convey what he really wants to say - maybe that fucking fine, he gets it, he’d leave them devastated if he died and all that. Which, yeah okay, it may work just a little because he’s beginning to reconsider his whole idea of blowing himself up in the first place.

That doesn’t mean he’s suddenly cured, of course - it’s only a small crack they’ve made, after all, but it’s enough for them. Eventually, after a few more harsh words and then some more kinder ones, he’s left alone for the night.

It’s a long process.

When he’s cleared for duty, the crew work on drilling it into him that he should at least fucking ask them about any stupidly reckless ideas he has, like throwing himself as a target at the enemies so they stay off the backs of the others.

To make their point, Jack decides to throw himself into the line of fire to cover Ray during a heist - when he had been perfectly fine covering his own ass. Ray hasn’t been that pissed off in _years,_ but the guys manage to show him that’s exactly how they feel whenever he does it - which, eventually, gets through to him.

The smaller things, though, Ray refuses to break habit of. The others manipulate him a little - they allow his date night to be more of Gavin’s preference of bar fights, except now all of a sudden Ryan and Jack have taken a liking to staying inside and ordering pizza while they fight it out in video games.

It definitely takes a while, though. He gets better, begins to realise his life means something because he realises it’s important he lives for the others, because they find him important and they value him and he probably should too, at least a little bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the prompt, anon! It was super fun to write this ~~  
> Thank you all for reading and all comments/kudos/etc are very very appreciated <3  
> 


End file.
